Hat-tip to Larry P. for this; he says “it’s by far the best thing I’ve read on this travesty.”
I am in absolutely no possession of any historical evidence that 16th-century English jailers employed modern stand-up comedians to bring a bit of levity to their inheritantly bleak workspaces, but what if they had? What if, as the clock ticked down in the Tower of London before the execution of Sir Thomas More ordered by King Henry VIII in July 1535, a comic, in the style of the late Rodney Dangerfield, was brought in to do stand-up?
“Hey, everybody looks great here. Anybody here Papists? Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me—I haven’t even paid the withholding tax on my foodtaster yet. I just flew in from the Isle of Man, and boy, are my arms tired—you know what I mean? Hey, prison guards! I never knew why they called you guys Beefeaters until I saw your wives outside the gates!”
Turning to the condemned man. “Hey, Tommy, I got good news for you. You’re not going to be drawn and quartered tomorrow.”
“Pray tell sir, do not jest!”
“I’m serious. Big H’s gonna cut your head off instead!”
That’s a little bit like the situation with the newly revealed, final US Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner toxic asset recovery bank program. It may work. It may not. Whatever happens with its effectiveness, one thing is certain. US taxpayers are definitely going to be getting the chop, maybe you could even say they’re getting it in the chops, as a result of its implementation and administration.
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